Life, half way through 09.

Sometimes. Just sometimes, (like now) i feel like i'm so lost in life.
Like.. I can foresee some of the possibilities of my future life.
It is moreorless either i'm going to get into this uni, or that. Or if i went into this university then this occupation is available to me. It's like a probability tree, if this happens, then these options open up. It is highly likely that the amount of effort you put into a subject is the amount of reward you'll recieve. But is this always the case? No. Because there is a natural thing called talent. There is no equivalency. If not it'll just be like communism.

And i know myself, i'm not a top student or whatever. I'm just mediocre like anyother else. Will I succeed in life and live how i want to? That... is an unpredictable thing. As said before, effort doesn't necessarily mean rewarding, then why put in the effort in the first place? It's an arguable thing but even the poorest of men could become rich overnight if they just managed to grab the chance of their life time.

And then since we're the young adults of this generation, we see people around us who are already successful despite the majority of us are still studying in school. We see celebrities, football stars, who are just merely 17, the same age as us, yet already have the amount of money that can last them half a life time. Then we reflect back to ourselves... What the fuck are we here for? To show how special those people are?

My friends... they graduated. They move on in life. They don't go to school and see each other everyday anymore. They spread. Some go to university here, some go to somewhere else, some go to work. They begin the cycle.

You study, you work, you marry, you retire, you die.

So boring. Especially when you can already see it infront of your eyes.
The moment you turn 20, you start working, part-time or not.
Then you turn 25 and you're on your way to become a successful man.
When you reach 30 you start worrying about marriage.
35, you start thinking about kids.
40, you worry about your kids, thinking what kind of person they'll be when they grow up.
50, you think about ... anything, you can retire or just keep working, you're free.

Will your life even last that long? Half a century.
You might just trip on the curb tomorrow and hit your head and die.

Sometimes... Sometimes i wish there is something unpredictable that would happen.
A decimation of a country.
A zombie outbreak.
Rediscovery of ancient technology.
Some kind of revolutionary, world changing event other than wars.

Just a spark in my life would do. Better than this everyday of commute. I've been probably doing the same thing for the last 10 years of my life, with slight variations everyday but. Just. I hope someone... something could happen that can affect my life. Change my commutes.

I mean this is pretty scary... I'm bored of life itself.
Is it because i'm in this age gap where i'm growing up?
Do anyone else think of shit like this or is it just me?