random thoughts of M22

I know me, i mean i'm me, so i'm supposed to know me right?
I know that i think before i say something.
I always think things randomly, anywhere anytime.
The gags and jokes i say are just a pick from the sea of thoughts in my head that i think about randomly. You know the things i think in my head are just seemlessly random.

Usually i think about situations, as in, what would i do ...?
What would i do if theres a tsunami heading towards me?
What would i do if a terrorist attack our school?
What would i do if someone jumps and hugs me?

Of course these are all possible situations, not like raining candy and shit but its as if i want to be prepared for any possible events thats going to happen. But then of course, this could also be a sign of my insecurity in life?

Hmm...


So anyways, i just took a shower half an hour ago and i suddenly thought of this;
What would i do if i found out i have cancer? Like, with 3 months left to live or something and theres nothing you can do to be cured. Well of course that is possible, rare but possible.

I need to be prepared to face death right? Knowing how much you have left to live is a pretty scary thought.
If i do have cancer, i do wanna die in HK as that is where i am born, that is where i die.
And if you have only 3 months to live that means your condition is pretty bad yeah?
First month is probably pretty normal, second month you clearly see some limping and the last you'll probably be lying in the bed until you die. (Depends what kind of cancer of course but for the sake of arguing)

Then i'd prolly plan out that i continue school normal for the first month, then leave school for the second and during that go back to HK and i'll just count my days down for the last. But then i can't just leave school suddenly yeah? Cos thats for people with no responsiblity and obviously i ain't one of them. So then i have to tell the school some random excuse just so i can leave.

I mean, if i do have cancer i won't want to tell my friends nor my teachers... why should i? It's not going to help me telling them nor helping themselves. They're only going to either think i'm joking or be sad. But logically thinking they do have the right to know hmmm? If i just one day disappeared thats not going to be ... nice.
If a friend of yours just one day disappeared and years later you found out he died of cancer but didn't tell anyone you'd probably hate that person to death (well technically since he died already). I mean, they do have the right to know but its only going to cause sadness no? How the hell do you even break it to them?


I don't even know why i thought of this in the shower. It's not like i want to die ... do i? Maaaaybe i release heaps of stress in the shower which makes me think that having cancer is a easy way out to get rid of all the stress that i have! Ahha genius! You know, these days there are just more and more crazy people who attacks random people just because they can't handle their own life themselves. Like the other day some chick just killed their parents because they confiscated her phone and another dood killing his neighbour because they make too much noises at night.

EQ!
its all about the EQ.
It's not like i have high EQ, its because im prepared for things to happen. I mean, who saw the economy crisis coming? Of course it's gonna happen. The higher you climb the further you drop. No point being special. Mediocre is the way to go.